Mutant Sue
by Kethlyn
Summary: This is a Mary Sue PARODY! An anti Mary Sue fic for all you people who HATE Mary Sue fanfiction, just like me! COMPLETED
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Even if I worked for Marvel Comics, I still wouldn't own any of their characters.  
  
Note: This is a parody of all those Mary Sue fanfics out there. People who write Mary Sue fics probably shouldn't read this, because I am making fun of those types of people by writing an Anti Mary Sue.  
  
To those of you who have no idea what a Mary Sue fanfic is, well think of the all perfect American girl (the Mary Sue writers are usually American.), with lots of powers, stunningly beautiful and falls in love with the character the writer adores the most. Even if that character already has a girlfriend, this poor abused character is bent to the maddening will of the immature writer.  
  
To those of you who hate Mary Sue fanfics, read on, enjoy and above all else, laugh. You are not alone.  
  
--  
  
Mutant Sue: The Mary Sue Parody.  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
Mary Sue Smith had beautifully natural long blonde hair, she could have been a model in a Herbal Essences advert, were it not for the fact her hair required no dye. She had the most big deep blue eyes that would put Elijah Wood to shame, long luscious lashes and a peachy soft complexion that required little or no makeup. Her lips were a natural cherry red and despite the fact she lived in an area of America where the accent was the sort of harsh annoying tone that made non Americans cringe, her voice was softly toned and she could sing in the sort of hauntingly clear voice that would make the likes of Enya and Dido jealous.  
  
But there was something about Mary Sue that wasn't perfect, something that set her apart from the rest of humanity, in a way her apparent perfection could not. Mary Sue was a mutant.  
  
So far, she could keep her powers under wraps. She had shown remarkable control over her gifts, despite only reaching the legal age of consent to sex in her state only a few weeks ago.  
  
Mary Sue's powers were many and limitless in their usage. She could shapeshift, though so far had seen no reason to morph from her perfection into someone who just wasn't blessed with such beauty. She could create and control flames and if she did loose control, which didn't happen often, her powers over ice could quench any fire. Our dear darling heroine had the ability to read minds and because she was truly a kindly soul, she had found out which of her friends boyfriends were cheating on them, who else fancied them and so on.  
  
Unfortunately that latter gift had resulted in a lot of heartache for her friends, also she had gained the reputation of a snitch. Poor Mary Sue has to be pitied here, as her so called friends had abandoned her and besides, after what happened on Prom Night, when Mary Sue had used her shape shifting ability to create for herself the image of an expensive Armani dress, complete with jewellery and shoes, looking like she was wearing millions of dollars worth, her friends jealously had been incurable.  
  
So now, as Mary Sue sat by herself in the cafeteria area of the high school she went to, her full lips in a perfect pout, she felt very depressed. If only she could find a place where she could use her powers without hindrance, a place where she would not have to hide her numerous gifts and even use them to benefit the rest of human kind! Unfortunately she was a perfect being in an imperfect world. Mary Sue could only hope that perhaps she might develop the power to duplicate herself next, so perhaps there would be more like her to help better mankind. Perhaps that would come next week. Mary Sue tried to stop thinking of the future, as she was a little frightened that she might develop the ability to see into the future too and she was not looking forward to seeing herself as an old woman finally having to resort to using her shape shifting ability to keep her drop dead gorgeous looks.  
  
Mary Sue was jolted from her air headed thoughts of being the saviour of the solar system when her telepathic abilities caught hint of someone with the same gift of telepathy trying to make contact with her. She warmed back up her lunch with her fire starting ability, not that she had to concentrate as she just wanted to heat back up her soup. Then she focused on contacting the other most powerful telepath on earth apart from herself.  
  
--  
  
When Professor Charles Xavier last used Cerebo to scan the earth for mutants, he had not noticed one red dot more vibrant than the rest, he had originally assumed that a lot of mutants must be gathered in that area. Now, he wanted to double check, just to make sure. After all, that dot could be a lot of mutants all under one roof plotting something dangerous, or just one overpowered mutant who could be in need of guidance in a world that hated her gifts.  
  
Then Prof X was startled. Her! He had thought her! Not it, him or a collection of mutant ravel, but her! She must be powerful indeed as he hadn't even began to focus yet, instead he had found her instantly with minimal aid of Cerebo.  
  
After having a conversation with the girl, discovering her name was Mary Sue and although her academic achievements were quite wonderful, up until a few weeks ago she had been the most popular person in her high school and now she was not. Oh woe is her, what a poor lonely child, she needed sympathy and companionship, he thought.  
  
The Professor called out to the X Men with his telepathy. He would find this wonderful child. Already he was thinking of the future with this girl amongst his students. The future looked bright.  
  
--  
  
Well what do you think? Please read, review and check back for more.  
  
If you are a person who can't even withstand the horror of a Mary Sue parody, never mind an actual Mary Sue, well I have my other fic, please check it out as I am hoping it will prove as a good example on how to write an original female character without turning her into a Mary Sue. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:  
  
When last we saw our heroine, the goddess-like Mary Sue, she was feeling very out of sorts but had been cheered up when Professor X contacted her. When she got home from school, she told her parents all about Professor X's school. Her parents, who loved each other and their daughter very much were also people who embraced all other people with the love and affection that every person should look up to and admire. They had known their daughter was a mutant and had not the prejudices the rest of the humans had for mutants. So they were thrilled for young Mary Sue.  
  
Mary Sue was excited when the X-jet landed and saw the ruggedly handsome Wolverine and the clean shaven pretty boy Scott walk out. She almost scowled when she also saw Storm and Jean, but remembered to smile prettily to them and pout seductively at the two men.  
  
If Mary Sue had one flaw, it was the fact she was a clueless person. Most people have heard of the term Blonde Bimbo. Mary Sue was the personification of that term. In fact even your average Blonde Bimbo despised her.  
  
So she couldn't care less once she found out that Scott had a girlfriend or that Logan was possibly more than twice her age. She flirted with them both, while Storm and Jean piloted the Blackbird back to Xavier's school.  
  
When there, she was welcomed with open arms. Despite a complete lack of charisma, her beauty shone through like a ray of light in the dark, enthralling everyone on the premises, she was that damn good. She found out she had another power then, the ability to communicate in any language, so she greeted Piotr, otherwise known as Colossus in his native Russian and managed to coax the elusive Nightcrawler out of the shadows to speak with him in German. Her endearing lack of personality was as extensive as her other powers, everyone loved her and Mary Sue felt truly happy amongst people who were mutants like her, despite they could never be as great as her. She fitted in. Perfectly.  
  
--  
  
Scott was happy. He even looked happy, which was usually very hard to tell as his glasses hid his eyes for good reason and his capacity for expressions had always been very limited.  
  
He had been talking to his dear, darling Mary Sue. Oh how he loved her. Her love was boundless and she loved him equally, just like she loved everyone else too, but he was sure he held a special place in her heart.  
  
Just two weeks ago, Mary Sue had arrived. Instantly, Jean seemed nothing more than a distant memory, even when she had tried talking to him telepathically. He wasn't aware of it, but because Mary Sue was an even better telepath than Prof X himself, Jean was unheard in Scott's mind. He hadn't even been aware of Jean when she had caught him and Mary Sue in the broom closet exchanging a lot more than kisses. He couldn't have cared less when she told him she was dumping him, not even when she tried to spring up even the slightest hint of jealously when she mentioned Wolverine. It was like Jean did not exist.  
  
--  
  
Logan was feeling fine. That Mary Sue knew every damn position in the Karma Sutra and then some and even his astounding stamina couldn't keep up with her. Plus she was a great companion for when they went drinking together. With her shape shifting ability, she could look like she was over 21 and could manipulate the mind of any barkeep or bouncer so he would not ask for Mary Sue's identification.  
  
She laughed at all of his jokes (unlike Jean), could touch him in all the right places (Unlike Rogue who couldn't touch anyone) and had a perfect body too. Plus she was an American who didn't make fun of Canada, which was very rare. Brilliant.  
  
--  
  
Kurt sang out loud in praise to his God for giving to the world the perfection that is Mary Sue. Her first name, Mary, was even the same name as the Blessed Virgin. When he had first seen her, he had doubted that one so beautiful - even more beautiful than Storm - would ever speak to him. He would never have imagined that she would confess her love for him.  
  
Mary Sue was so sweet and innocent and even more surprisingly, when he had said how tempted he was to return her love but felt unworthy, she had been so understanding too. Why, the young girl was even of the same religion as him - unlike Storm - and joined him in his prayers every Sunday. He had mentioned the slight age gap and the vast differences in looks between them, but that wonderful girl had said, in perfect German, that "We are all God's children, this equal in His eyes" in that pious voice of hers. She was Jesus in female form.  
  
--  
  
Bobby carefully formed and sculpted a perfect figuring in ice of his beloved Mary Sue. Even then, his ice figurine, just like his power, could never match her own. Plus it was great to have a girlfriend he could actually touch without feeling like he was getting his very soul sucked out of him. Tonight was going to be special, as they were finally going to take things further. She might not have been his first love, but she would be his first in other ways, such as under the bedcovers.  
  
Rogue had took the break-up well, had said she could see it coming the first time he laid eyes on Mary Sue. At first, he had wondered if he had done the right thing, as Rogue had shown how understanding she could be, but he and Mary Sue had so much in common, same power over ice, same age and so on. She was his Ice Princess.  
  
--  
  
In a securely locked room, Storm, Jean, Rogue, Kitty, Siryn and every other girl who was sick of Mary Sue were gathered round plotting and planning. There was surprisingly only one man in the room, Professor Charles Xavier, who after bringing Mary Sue to the mansion, had been instantly forgotten by her. It was as if he was no longer needed.  
  
They could all see why. This wasn't just a bunch of scorned women plotting revenge on an evil temptress who had taken their loved ones away from them.  
  
They had come up with the theory that Mary Sue had infiltrated their home, but for what reason wasn't as a spy. Now the group had concluded that Mary Sue's true power was akin to that of a mythical succubus. She had the ability to bend any object of her desire to her will, with no thought to the poor victim's true feelings. His own personality, character and situation were irrelevant when Mary Sue wormed her way into his life. She was too dangerous to live. She had to die.  
  
--  
  
Oh yeah, chapter 1 AND 2 complete and it only took me 10 mins to write. I wonder if this is the same for all Mary Sue writers, it is so easy to write such complete and utter drivel! If only they would put some effort into their work, such as giving their character a personality.  
  
One can only dream. 


	3. Chapter 3

"You made contact with her mind Professor; surely you caught a glimpse of true purpose here?" Jean Grey asked, her expression one of worry.  
  
"No Jean. I didn't realise at the time, but Mary Sue managed to block any attempt in delving deeper into her mind. We made contact only because she wanted to, otherwise I would never have been able to reach her mind." Replied the Professor, distraught that Mary Sue could so easily get past his mental defences.  
  
"Know whats really strange?" piped up Rogue, "That she has seduced every man she wanted and they don't even realise she's two timing them with every other guy in the school! Why haven't they noticed?"  
  
"That's because, well, its hard to explain, but now I am no longer under her thrall, I can read her thoughts more clearly, so I can detect what she is feeling. I can tell you now - she is actually completely unaware of the heartbreak she is causing. She does not realise how wrong this is. On a whim she turns from one man to the next, and yet, she makes sure the they don't realise she is dating every man in the school because each and every one of those poor souls see her as an all perfect being who would never do that. The thought that she might be doing what she really is doing does not occure to them."  
  
"That has like, got to be the longest sentence, like, you have ever said, Professor" said Kitty Pryde.  
  
"Whatever." Storm said, as she thumped the table with her fist, her anger sending a slight electric shock through everyone in the room, the jolt causing them to ignore Kitty's prattle. "Lets get to the point. Her powers are too many, she develops new powers every day. How do we deal with a person like that? How do we get rid of her?"  
  
"How do we know she's even a person?" Siryn asked. She had hated Mary Sue ever since the All Perfect One had acquired a power similar to Siryn's own mutant power. Siryn knew that it was possible for two mutants to have the same power, after all she inherited hers from her father, but for Mary Sue to have that many? Impossible.  
  
Jean Grey sympathised with Siryn's jealousy. She had chosen Scott over Logan and this was how he repaid her loyalty. Screwing around with a teenager.  
  
"Theres one way to find out." Rogue's voice had a strong hint of malevolent intentions. "If she's a person, I can take her power."  
  
"YES!" chorused the assembled mass of women.  
  
Only Jean and the Professor seemed dubious. "Rogue all that power, all at once. Do you think you will be able to handle it all?" Xavier asked.  
  
"Plus there is the chance of her being able to resist your touch, or worse, throw it back at you." Jean added.  
  
"But think about it Professor, if Rogue could gain Mary Sue's powers, even for an instant, she would also gain Mary Sue's telepathic and telekinetic abilities. You would be able to read her mind, fully, through Rogue, surely!" cried Storm. Finally it seemed like the solution was at hand, she wasn't about to give up on their only idea so far.  
  
"And I am willing to try." Rogue reminded them.  
  
"If we can read her mind, we can find a weakness and exploit it." Jean looked at the Professor. "This could be our one shot of getting her out of our lives. But it's your call."  
  
Yes, our one shot, but is it what Scott, Logan, Colossus and all the other brainwashed men want? If we do anything against Mary Sue, they will only end up hating us. Or worse, attack us to defend her." Charles Xavier pointed out.  
  
"Hey? Hello? I've an idea! Lets try winning back each and every guy over! If we make sure Mary Sue isn't in the sight of a man, any man, all of them, she can't tempt them and we can!" Kitty said, feeling a bit ignored.  
  
"Then who will distract Mary Sue?" asked Rogue, not wanting anyone else but her to win back her Bobby.  
  
"I will." Said the Professor in a tone of voice that suggested there would be no arguments. "Unsurprisingly, she is unattached to old, bald men. Yes, it is a risk, but no more risky than what Rogue will do to her. I have been under her spell once, I know what to look out for and it will not be allowed to happen again.  
  
Everyone agreed to the plan. Not that they had much choice, but plan B - do nothing - would achieve nothing. For the sake of their love lives, their friends and the fate of both mutant and human kind, they had to try. 


	4. Chapter 4

20 minutes later, when the meeting was over, Jean waited till Scott was alone. Then she went into his room. They didn't come out for at least two hours.  
  
"Well it looks like some people were having a good time." Storm said sarcastically as a smiling Scott and Jean, their clothing rather rumpled, met up with her.  
  
"No one screws with my man's mind but me!" Jean said triumphantly.  
  
"You're not going to do the same with Wolverine, are you darling?" asked a satisfied, but at the same time, worried looking Scott.  
  
"Why not? You've done it with Mary Sue! But don't worry my pet, I'm not as evil as her."  
  
Scott breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
Now the girls had to find a way to win back Logan. When they found him and told him what a slut Mary Sue was, Scott being the proof that Mary Sue slept around, Wolverine's response was positive - but not quite what they were expecting. "So she's a whore? Without the brains to make some money out of it? How can a girl like that use her looks to take advantage of any man, yet not charge by the hour? Dumb blonde."  
  
Next on the list was Kurt. He was in his room, praying as Storm slowly approached him. She had asked everyone else to stay outside so to save the trusting Nightcrawler from embarrassment.  
  
Kurt looked horrified when Storm told him of Mary Sue's sluttish exploits. "But she swore on the bible she is a virgin!"  
  
Storm shook her head. "Mary Sue isn't even a catholic!"  
  
"But neither are you."  
  
"Please believe me, Kurt. Don't you trust me anymore? I don't share your faith, but I have faith in you, won't you have faith in me?" Storm's voice betrayed a sob.  
  
There was a knock on the door as Kurt drew Storm towards him, embracing her in a hug. "I told Bobby all about Mary Sue, Storm," said Rogue from outside. "He says Mary Sue was supposed to meet him an hour ago, she didn't turn up and Bobby saw her with another guy." Bobby was heard to add "Not just with another guy, if you know what I mean."  
  
Kurt looked downcast. "Its ok." Storm said gently, "At least your faith prevented you from taking things further with her."  
  
When Kurt and Storm emerged, they met a very angry Bobby, who confirmed what they already knew. Bobby was forming a female figure on the palm of his hand, only to crush it in a fist a moment later. It didn't take two guesses to figure out what he was wishing to really crush.  
  
Soon, all of them, except for the Professor and Mary Sue herself, were assembled.  
  
Jean had kept in touch with Charles the entire time. He was in the assembly hall; asking Mary Sue how she was finding the school, was she getting along with everyone. Distracting questions that wouldn't arouse her suspicions.  
  
Nightcrawler teleported Rogue behind Mary Sue.  
  
The entire student body and teaching faculty entered the assembly hall.  
  
Rogue took off her glove and reached out.  
  
It was time for the showdown.  
  
--  
  
Slight re-write for you all in this short chapter! 


	5. Final Chapter

Rogue felt the mind of Mary Sue intruding on her own thoughts as she touched the embodiment of perfection. But Rogue was not alone. As she gained Mary Sue's powers, she could feel the minds of Professor Xavier, Jean and everyone else, all supporting her in this terrible task.  
  
Mary Sue was screeching, her voice no longer seemed as charming as it had before. Her reaction was akin to the time back in Alkali Lake when every mutant in the world had been also wiped out. Rogue felt sorry for the girl, knowing what she must be going through.  
  
"Do not feel any empathy towards Mary Sue, young Rogue." Professor X whispered in her thoughts. "For she feels nothing."  
  
"Nothing?"  
  
"Yes. Mary Sue has no soul."  
  
Professor X could see clearly now, no barriers within Mary Sue's mind could prevent him from taking advantage of this opportunity to delve into the perfect mind.  
  
He was amazed by what he saw and made sure, with Jean's help, that every other mutant in the facility could see too.  
  
Up until a few weeks ago, Mary Sue had never existed. Mary Sue had never been born. Mary Sue was from a different reality and even there, she was not real. Just a figment of her creator's limited imagination. He could see a world parallel to this one, where the idea of mutants was something of comic book material.  
  
Mary Sue wasn't even a character in a comic. Just a figment. An embodiment of one immature girl's desire to be something more than what she was, a girl who's selfish desires to be a part of something better and to enforce her reality upon them and make it real.  
  
He wasn't sure how this Mary Sue had come to this world. What he was sure of, was that there was millions of them. Perhaps there had been so many stupid little girls writing stories about themselves, that eventually time, reality itself had ruptured and that was how this Mary Sue had became real.  
  
He had seen enough.  
  
"I can't do this for much longer, Professor! I don't want her thoughts in my head permanently!" Rogue screamed.  
  
Jean looked at the professor. Then nodded to Storm.  
  
"Lets end this."  
  
Mary Sue was battered from all directions from every mutant she had manipulated. Scott eyeblasted her, Logan slashed her once pretty face. The assault went on, until there was nothing left to destroy.  
  
There was no trace of Mary Sue left. It was like she had never existed.  
  
The last coherent thought the Professor sensed from Mary Sue, was from the creator of Mary Sue herself. "I'm sorry."  
  
It would never be enough. But the professor knew, they all knew, that as long as there was people writing good fan fiction in every reality, the Mary Sue authors would never gain the respect they sought. Those authors, whose sense of decency, would counter the onslaught of those writers who had yet to mature into something truly better.  
  
Rogue and Jean also contemplated. In their reality, they had Mary Sue authors too, writing about taking centre stage in popular books such as Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. There were probably students amongst them who perhaps went online to write Mary Sues. They wouldn't any more.  
  
Professor X was also sure, positively sure, that perhaps one other writer would join the ranks of those people who write good stories without trying to make themselves out to be the all wonderful heroine. Mary Sue had learnt her lesson and the X-men would be more than ready to deal with another.  
  
The end.  
  
--  
  
Well shit. I wrote this entire crappy story in just an hour. One measly hour! If other Mary Sue writers can write this fast, imagine how good a Mary Sue author could be if she could write a fic that didn't revolve around her!  
  
This little piece of fiction was originally under parody/humor. But I've changed it to parody/horror. Because Mary Sue is a little horror..  
  
Anyway, I will NEVER write a Mary Sue. I will NEVER even write an anti Mary Sue fic again. I don't even know WHY I wrote this one, it just came to me, seemed to flow and I just had to write it down.  
  
Plus I was angry. I used to read only the Lord of the Rings fiction at this site. I don't even go there anymore because it is just so damn hard to find a good fic that isn't a Mary Sue or a slash fic there, the good authors are not updated regularly enough and that is why I am writing X-men fics instead.  
  
Next time I feel like writing, I'll update my more read worthy story. That's a promise. 


End file.
